9 – 3 NLP Techniques Demonstrations

* These are three NLP processes that we will be practicing in the breakout rooms in Session 10. Please watch them prior to the class so you will already have seen the demonstration and explanation of the processes.

Reframing

Reframing is the ability to illuminate a behavior or a situation from different perspectives. It makes our minds free and mobile. Train your ability to see meaning in a flexible way and thus significantly increase your choices in difficult situations.

” Always look at the bright side of everything – and if you do not have bright ones, rub the dark one until it shines.” Nikolaus Enkelmann

Definition of Reframing

The terms “reframing / reframe” literally mean to give things a new frame.

The meaning of an event, a statement, a behavior, a belief, a trigger, a stimulus depends on the context we give it, the frame in which we place it. The frame is the context. Reframing means constructing a new framework, a new meaning. A picture can look and feel different in a new frame. When a problem is reframed, the same event takes on a new meaning: new reactions and new behavior become possible.

Reframing

“It is not so much what happens to you as how you think about what happens.” Epictetus

All meaning is context-dependent. No events or behaviors are “bad” in and of themselves – the person’s response depends on the meaning ascribed to the event. Whether the behavior is seen as valuable depends on the context or “frame” in which it is viewed.

Context Reframe:

Assigning an unwanted behavior to a context appropriate to it and finding a new, appropriate behavior for the previous “problem context”.

An example: A father describes his daughter as stubborn. The coach says: “Imagine your daughter being harassed by a man. Wouldn’t it be very useful if she were stubborn in that situation?”

 Meaning Reframe (= Content Reframe):

Finding a ‘more appropriate meaning’ for the behavior experienced as problematic – different perspective on the same phenomenon.

An example: A mother is annoyed about the footprints her children leave on the carpet. “Footprints on the carpet” mean for her: “Nobody respects me.” A new meaning could be: ‘footprints on the carpet’ mean ‘people I love are in the house.’

Working Theory:

• An external event or sensory experience elicits a response to which a
  meaning is attached.
• Reframing is the ability to attach a new meaning to an external event
  or sensory experience which in turn causes a new response to it.
• All meaning is context dependent. If the context or frame is changed
  then the meaning and the response to the meaning will change.
• People tend to attach a meaning to each sensory experience.
  Different people can attach different meanings to the very same
  external event or sensory experience.
• Every sensory experience in the world and every behavior is
  appropriate in some context or frame.
• Broadening a person’s view through reframing will only allow them to
  consider making a change 1) if the new view makes more sense to
  them than what they have been thinking and 2) if it is an undeniably
  valid way of looking at the world.
• Thinking about something in many different ways is an important part
  of understanding.
• The reframer must be congruent in nonverbal analogs (words and all
  nonverbal communication match) when delivering a reframe in order
  to have the reframe be effective.
• By giving ourselves the flexibility to change the way we see something, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to achieve our outcomes more easily.
• Reframing changes the way you feel and
  therefore what you do.

Two great questions to help with reframing are:
• What else could this mean?
• What’s good about this?

Bandler and Grinder developed the six step reframe technique from their study of Milton Erickson (ideomotor signals) and Virginia Satir’s work with parts.

When we are young, we try out different behaviors and some of them work. We keep the ones that work, even when times change and those responses may not be the most useful ones. Throwing a tantrum at 4 years old might get us what we want, at 44 it probably won’t work so well.

Behind every behavior is a positive intention – this is one of the basic NLP presuppositions. Motives drive behavior. Our brains do nothing without some (usually unconscious) purpose.

Presupposition: all behavior has benefits and a positive intention. The
more choices we have, the better results we can get.

The main purpose of a 6 Step Reframe is to establish a link
between the conscious and unconscious mind and to install in the person
a belief that all parts are allies — potential teachers and friends.

The way to get rid of unwanted behavior is not to try to stop it with willpower. This guarantees that it will continue because you give it attention and energy. Find another, better way to realize your purposes: one that is more in tune with your overall personality. You do not destroy your gas lamps before you have electricity installed, unless you want to sit in the dark.

The six step reframe is a powerful and underestimated NLP technique.

Do you have any habits you want to change without a lot of effort and self-discipline? The NLP swish pattern can change the way you feel and behave naturally and easily.

This is a generative pattern, which involves changing identity. Who is the “you” for whom this wouldn’t be a problem? Is it the calm secure person who responds calmly to a messy room? Maybe it’s the powerful confident person who loves cold calling.

We don’t deal with reality directly, but through our models of it. Our responses come from our model. When we change the model, we change our responses.

This particular NLP swish uses visual representations processing, which is the easiest method. It also uses size and color as driving submodalities. Slightly different processes use different representational systems. The same principles apply – we are changing one representation for a more desirable one.

We think things cause our responses (he makes me so angry), but actually it is a stimulus and response reaction. Our brains receive cues for how to behave. I want to move across the room; my foot touches a firm surface and automatically pushes against it to start the process of walking.

What this boils down to is that we all have pre-programmed unconscious reactions to anything we have had an encounter with in our past. This often works in our favor. Being able to recognize a truly dangerous situation for what it is can be crucial to our well being.

The problem lies with the fact that sometimes these unconscious behaviors and reactions don’t fit the situation, and can actually hold us back. For example, think for a second about going to the gym… Did you get a sudden feeling of dread, or did you feel energized and thrilled by the thought of it? Whatever feeling you experienced was an automatic reaction your subconscious mind had when presented with the thought of going to the gym.

It will have similar reactions to everything you think of. So now that we understand that even something beneficial can evoke a negative response from our minds, what do we want to do? We want to find a way to provoke a positive response to things that are good for us. If we can do this, it becomes much easier to effect positive changes in every area of our lives.

Keys to powerful results

• Identifying the cues that trigger the negative state or behavior
• Speed of the change.
• Using appropriate driving submodalities. This particular pattern uses color and size to change desirability.
• Other common compelling drivers are distance and direction. If your compelling drivers are different, you can adapt this pattern… *(see lesson 5-b. Submodalaties)